Under Gravity of Hope!

So, after returning in the Valley after 4 month i have found a lot differences in the things that saw me in the past and now the same thing are behaving as if they are not the same old thing in from the past. Oh how time flies quickly. Nobody can guess!
Well there is this little story i found when i was in my rehabilitation and medication period. Strong words in rehabilitation right. Well yes, it was kind of. How addicated i have been! What is there to achieve in life when you are overdosed? All you feel is suffocated, there is no room to breathe your lungs out for your lungs have been closed in the dark room filled by the darkness, smokes.
There used to be a boy of this dream, he had so much inside his head. Then one day, he ran from home. The struggle was so hard during the year that he was able to land into some good fortune to setup his own destiny in the end but then it wasn’t the miracle that he was hoping for. The nature wasn’t too cruel for he was worthy for what he did in all those years. Despite not getting what it was meant for him, but still he was happy. Life was fortune but it wasn’t the top of the mountain. But such is LIFE!!
Cutting down the chase, it was starting of March when the symptotic vandetta on my body rose to the gradual increment. I was still able to push myself forward for what i loved and then in the mid April i was hospitalized. And all hell break loose at once!
Then following months saw me in the guardian angels of medicine. I would not put that the condition was serious. What i have been through was not a major one but you couldn’t argue with the minority of that.
It is quite easy for people to talk cheap when we think it is some sort of inspiration but the reality is dark somewhere. When one has to bear it through, the thinking are unthinkable, the pain are unbearable. But when you still have HOPE, all you do is dwell under the gravity of it.

My life in two minutes


Once, in my childhood i thought of being a pilot …LOL Probably i was fascinated by aeroplane and helicopter. But that didn't last long, my aim changed to be a civil engineer. Not the best job in the planet, but certainly best job in Nepal. I was Unknown about what was going to happen in my life but still i was happy.

I am not Er.Sabin Nepal !!!

Cause i didn't do well in examination.To be an engineer by profession here means have more money or get more marks.I didn't had both.It's the sad portion. Then, i choose to study about computers. Hadn't made my mind to study about that but i had to eventually.


It's been three years now since i joined Bachelors. First the first three or four months, couldn't stop thinking about how i missed my chance of being an engineer.Life changes, Time changes… Messing up with my computer is my day to day activity now.I feel happy doing it.Hours and hours of time I spent in my laptop i am gaining something.A small thing, a short block of code i write ,makes me happy now.


Er.Sabin Nepal is what i used to think about me.But now i don't need that Er., I still make things like an engineer does.I am happy nowadays, my terminal makes me happy.
This is guest post by Neymarsabin as his online identity who Loves Emacs and Arch.

Thank You!

Soulless city!

When i returned there 10 years back for 2 days trip, the place i left back to be greenary, with a lot of love and affection between people was no more. The place was totally different. 10 years ago, here were people of every ethinicity, gender, culture, religion lived in harmony. The place no less looked like from Lord of Rings where the dwarfs and all lived just like same. But now the place has gone weird. It was no more the same place and the place was nothing more than a desert. The only difference was there were people but none of them seem to recognize me. These people also looked different like they had no soul. A flesh wrapped by bones would just circle them and it made them move there. I tried to be familiar with at least one of them but none of it was successful.
I went to the dark house driving slowly in the mid hill from where the wonder of the lake was visible. The life in the lake and its depth made so cherishful back in the days. Just in time i was about to remember to look, i had to turn unplanned and like all those people, the life in the lake and its depth were as if there were blood pool for like minimum 20 years. The place started being more strangeful because it was really weird to be seen in such like this. I mean how could it be changed in at such less year?
When i finally reached home, i immediately found the house to be occupied by the owl, bats. For the house was offered to a nightsman for contract for 15 years, with every 2 year his wage to be increased, i was thinking maybe the house hasnt changed. Maybe the house will bring my old reminder again. But just to my opposite, the house was somehow dead. On rumbling to corners in the house, i found some bones and skulls and took no further time to guess it must be that nightsman. Maybe the old man rested all his dream in here. Maybe he never wished to marry and have any children. Or maybe this is all incorrect.
Finally i was able to make dinner and during the dinner time, the air hissed like the someone is whispering the name. But who cares? Then the night went by. You know not the peaceful one!
Then in the morning, i tried to speak with the people. Their eye weren’t faced towards me but to the sky and they were speaking same thing in foreign tone devilish one maybe i dont know. This wasn’t able to scare me for the city had gone soulless. People were soulless and so were the thing. After the return of the evening for that day, in the same home all other room were same except for kitchen where the light was enough and the dinner was marvellous to look. I wonder if someone made it. But before i touched it, i tested with the ancient traditional chants. After an hour everything in the room disappeared for the lights was upon me and darkness was trying to lure me into his side. If he was able to do it, i would loss and the devils would win. God’s name would always be muddled. In the end, the loss was his and the win was ours.
When it was next day, the city had no people in it and the lake started to turn into blue. The greenary were no more a strange thing. Then that morning i whispered something into the ears of two sleepy human in the city and in the God’s Land i had to return for the observation of next human’s adventure for the human were always out in misery. And maybe it was not all.
God had another plan!

A Life of Lie!

At morning, when we wake up the first thing is we lie. A day starts with the lie no matter what we promise to do or make anything better. If you think it is unfair that we lie often, just look at your surrounding may be its time you haven’t found out what the real thing is in there or you have been surrounded by the fake truth of the world being always good. That my friend is ultimate lie.
Usually what i do in my morning schedule is i often finish my work in what timely manner called “very alchhi”. I live in rented flat like 30 km far from my home and I start my day in some nasty breakfast work in the kitchen and start focusing my eye in the 15” monitor that acts like as if the whole world is there. Crack that is not even the case. I lie to the every repository, my every blog, my every emails, my every evenly twitter timeline  which i will contribute over them but i just stay lazy and watch some youtube stuff. Then sometimes if it is college time, at around 7 am i get almost ready and walk up to college that is up like 10 min far and reaching at 7:20-7:30 am, i again lie to the gate-keeper saying i had to travel all those miles and i couldn’t be here in time. Sometimes its the lab and i remember the stuff what i did while thinking to start that lab or that assignment or that stuff , then i again lie to the teacher saying i could have email to you but it went to wrong address even though i know i haven’t done it right away. Ziz so many lie! 
Lets add some memorable lie again to this list: Sometimes mom calls me and asks me what i eat this afternoon, i don’t simply tell her i ate mo:mo and didn’t attend college today and went for some movie that was a worth waiting for long time. I again lie. After sometime papa asks if i have been attending college and getting good scores, i don’t tell him i just finished this week test worse than ever and heck i didn’t even wrote a single letter in the paper. LIE LIE TOO MUCH!!
Lets not forget the fact that lying is not good. But always in life the truth wont matter and the lie wont be bad. We lie too much in the life. But who wont lie? Let me ask you, what do you think of lying? I tell you my friend it is not bad always. Sometimes we have to lie and be good to other like it was never a lie. Sometimes truth is never a way to express to real fact. Sometimes you have to lie and make people comfortable. Sometimes we just have to and lie ourself to make sure everything is right.
Sometimes we have to lie and sometimes we must lie. :)